by Gerard Donnelly Smith
(Swans - March 14, 2005) Left to their own selves Americans wouldn't know what to die for, so my friends at the Foundation for the American Family have found the solution. That is, God knows what you should die for. 'Cause children will go to the edge of the Earth for a good cause. You know what they say in Texas, give me a good cause and I'll -- now how did that go -- I'll kill you for it. Yep, it goes something like that. Well, I agree with that sediment, it's something you can bury yourself in.
Everybody needs a cause to die for. 'Cause we got problems in America. Big problems. The questions you should ask is "Watcha gonna do about the problem?" We have gotta problem with security, um, Social Security. We took care of that other problem with the homeland -- the one I don't think 'bout too much anymore -- so now we gotta prioritize young people to help secure our future with private accounts, cause Social Security's gonna be bankrupt in 20--4, no wait, 2020. See, if I took every last dime out of the trust fund, then you don't have any money left in it to pay the dividends to people who put the money in it in the first place. Your daddy'd be pissed too. See, that's simple math, see! Anybody that passed elemental math knows that if you don't take everything out, won't be nothing left. That's bankrupture.
Now, talking about bankruptured ideas. Some guy in Colorado, I don't remember what school, but he's one of them liberal professors, the ones that got Red Stars put on their doors by a patriotic American, he said America's is a fascist regime. Well, Hitler was a fascist regime, so I don't see how he can call America one. America's not even a regime. It's a democracy. Makes you wonder what they're teaching them at colleges nowdays. That's the problem with letting some liberal teacher get ten-years to teach their slant on history. He claims America committed genocide against Indians. How can that be since they're still here? They've got casinos and gambling haven't they, and they can still do that fancy-dancy stuff. In Texas we even let 'em vote. And Colorado's always been good to their natives. He should of just taught history like he was supposed to; you know about, about Mrs. Ponca..haunt-us, what was her last name...Smith, yes it was Smith and Thanksgiving and how we saved all the Indians from starving to death.
Speaking about starving to death. We got taxes. We've got too much of 'em. That's a truism. So what, so what we need is more breaks, more breaks for the middle class, and a lot less taxes for business. Making taxes and breaks permanent people oughta invest in economic growth. It's good for the economy, stupid. I'd say "read my lips," but I know most people don't do sign language. What we got here is too many depressed people and depressed industries, so we've gotta do something to help 'em out of their depression. Yeah, I know some liberals is saying "Where's the 9 billion dollars?" over there in Iraq. That's what Ronald Raygun would call trickle down. Some of that money we sent over there has just sorta trickled down to individuals. Those Iraqis are as happy as two-bit whores playing nickel slots. It's like tipping a waitress at a restrant. Do the math, that's a good tip.
And I gotta nother good tip. Education. You see we gotta crisis in education in this country. Students can't do math, and can't speak straight about simpleton things. That's why I started the No Child's Left Behind. It's an act. Making students all the same, so no liberal professor can teach whatever they want. Our future is our children. So we gotta educate them with good morals and family values. You know families with mothers, like that one unique American with three jobs. They gotta be able to add and subtract, just to keep all those jobs. It's hard work working. And reading good is important. I like to read. My library's full of books about all kinds of stuff. I read this one by a Roman named Demo...Demothenease. He's the one who put pebbles in his mouth, so he could speak with electrocrution. Surprised he didn't swallow one. I tried that, thought I was gonna choke on a big one.
Well, that's all the questions I can answer, Thanks Jeff, or is that James? And Dude! Why's your G.O.P. hanging out yer fly?