Swans Commentary » swans.com February 14, 2005  



It Makes The Unborn Baby Jesus Cry


by Phil Rockstroh


Graphic by Angela Tyler-Rockstroh



Pic: "Unborn In The USA" - Graphic, © Angela Tyler-Rockstroh 2005. All rights reserved. (Please, do not steal.) - size 39kb

"Unborn In The USA," by Angela Tyler-Rockstroh; a Phil Rockstroh conception
© Angela Tyler-Rockstroh 2005. All rights reserved.



(Swans - February 14, 2005)   I dreamed I was a fetus floating within the protective womb of Dubya's America. In the dream, my work cubicle, the sealed interior of my SUV, and my insular guarded gate suburban home were awash in an amniotic fluid of mass media imagery; an umbilical cord tethered me to the corporate state, feeding me a steady supply of junk food and mind-numbing pharmaceuticals. The world outside the safety of my womb bristled with menace, threatening as the surgical knife of an abortionist.

Protect me, for I am but a powerless fetus...install an impenetrable security system around me...create an omniscient Department of In Vitro Security...construct a missile defense shield comprised of god-guided nuclear warheads, I silently cried.

Then I had a vision of the unborn Baby Jesus, The Jesus Fetus. He emerged headlong from the Virgin Mary's celestial womb and descended to this sin-sullied earth brandishing a flaming sword to shatter the wicked abortionist's blood-glistening blade.

The Jesus Fetus said to me, "Take heart: even those foul scions of Satan, The 'Demon'cratic Party are 'reconsidering their position on abortion.' The days of Sybaritic men and wanton women are over -- the Age of the Ascendant Embryo has begun."

Then he revealed to me a vision of the future of our great country, "The United States of Amniotica."

It was a glorious land where all fertile women were declared "designated womb reserves"...where all sperm cells had voting rights...and there were intrauterine bible study classes for all unborn babies to ensure the prevention of the birth of queers.

The symbols and icons of the satanic secular state were swept away in a righteous tide. In their place, monuments to purity, piety, and innocence had risen.

War memorials dedicated to the memory of aborted babies were erected...as well as public monuments, murals, and statues that depicted their restoration.

In my dream, the statue that represented lantern-jawed, hirsute Abraham Lincoln, seated on his secular throne in the Lincoln Memorial, was replaced by a statue of a God-kissed fetus...its eternal innocence proclaiming to the sinful world that America is good and pure and forever blameless.

But it was not all sad and solemn -- after all -- we're talking about fetuses who, by way of their umbilical cords, have round-the-clock infusions of the best anti-depressants that the pharmaceutical industry manufactures pumped directly into their systems. They're brimming with pep. There will be synchronized fetus swimmers in the National Mall's reflecting pool; fetuses jumping through flaming hoops at Sea World; and motorized NASCAR fetuses will mingle with the common folk between stints of racing around speedway-sized womb replications in the Deep South.

The images of embryos will be placed on postage stamps. But since they're children -- unborn -- but children, nonetheless -- it will be an act of pedophilia to lick the stamps.

The eagle on the Presidential Seal will be replaced with a winged, talon-footed fetus, clutching a cache of assault weapons in his powerful claws...All hail the Embryos of Endless War...an army of the unborn...a force of super fighting fetuses who will protect the wombs of the innocent, worldwide. Our righteousness will prevail: even if we have to kill every last one of the unborn unbelievers on earth...in order to save them.

The seasons will pass. The Pagan and secularized bastardization of our Christian holidays will be banished. The world will glisten reborn when springtime arrives and The Easter Embryo brings chocolate crucifixes. On Halloween, children will costume themselves as monstrous abortion doctors and evil Planned Parenthood counselors.

The annual traditions of Miss Unborn America and Mr. Embryonic Universe will inspire us all: we can glimpse the magnificence and majesty we had once been endowed with, by a perfect and loving God, before we were all tainted by this sordid world.

You see: human beings are so difficult...so ugly and riddled with sin -- unlike blameless fetuses who are perfect in their innocence...unthreatening...model citizens -- they consume and never complain. It's when they're born that the problems begin. Then they become difficult, demanding, rebellious.

They ought to be sent straight from the womb to Guantánamo -- and tortured continually -- until their perfect innocence is restored.

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Internal Resources

America the 'beautiful' on Swans


About the Author

Phil Rockstroh on Swans (with bio).

Angela Tyler-Rockstroh is a Broadcast Designer/Animator working with major Networks such as Cartoon Network, Disney Channel, HBO Family, PBS, etc. She also creates satirical graphics for Phil Rockstroh and has recently worked with Flickerlab on the opening animation of the new Michael Moore documentary, "Fahrenheit 9/11." When life does not squeeze too much out of her, she finds time to produce and design a high-end line of coats and party dresses for small dogs.



Please, feel free to insert a link to this work on your Web site or to disseminate its URL on your favorite lists, quoting the first paragraph or providing a summary. However, please DO NOT steal, scavenge, or repost this work on the Web or any electronic media. Inlining, mirroring, and framing are expressly prohibited. Pulp re-publishing is welcome -- please contact the publisher. This material is copyrighted, © Phil Rockstroh 2005. All rights reserved. The graphic is copyrighted, © Angela Tyler-Rockstroh 2005. All rights reserved.


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This Edition's Internal Links

Put "-ocracy" On The Proper Prefix - by Philip Greenspan

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Arthur Miller - by Louis Proyect

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AVA Oregon!, RIP - by Gilles d'Aymery

Sha Sha Higby: An Appreciation - by Milo Clark

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Canadian "Alternative" Media As Fifth Column? - by Dave Patterson

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On Liberty - Book Excerpt by John Stuart Mill

The Sacred And The Profane - Poem by Gerard Donnelly Smith

Blips #12 - From the Editor's desk

Letters to the Editor

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URL for this work: http://www.swans.com/library/art11/procks41.html
Published February 14, 2005